test(node): get test-assert.js working

[DonIsaac]

What does this PR do?

• Overhauls node:assert to better match node's behavior
• Adds test-assert.js to the list of passing node test cases

Upstack from #15697

How did you verify your code works?

I ported node test cases.

[robobun]

^{Updated 4:09 PM PT - Jan 9th, 2025}

✅ @DonIsaac, your commit 4b48543 has passed in #9321! 🎉

---

🧪   try this PR locally:

bunx bun-pr 15698

[paperclover]

overall seems reasonable

[DonIsaac]

note: I had to move the node test bunfig.toml to the root directory. See #16289